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Life Coach

Carole Anne Rice

Carole Ann Rice is one of the UK’s top life coaches. Her Happy Monday column is featured weekly in the Daily Express and she is the only coach in the UK to have her own column in a national daily newspaper. She has coached everyone from rock stars to mums at home. What unites her clients is the desire to reach their full potential and lead the best lives they can. Carole Ann is author of the bestseller Find Your Dream Job and Start Your Dream Business co-written with her client Sarah Wade.

www.realcoachingco.com

Faith, Trust and Pixie Dust – how to really make those dreams come true

 

How are your big dreams coming along? No not the drop a dress size, cut out carbs and hope your life changes forever type of dreams. But those big hairy audacious dreams that scare the bejeezus out of you and make your knees knock together with cartoon hilarity. Only it’s not funny, is it?


I’m a great believer that if your dreams don’t make your jaw drop and keep you awake at least one night a week then you’re either playing safe, not need reading the right books or are taking Nytol. If you are stuck in MAD (Mediocre Average Dreams) and are looking for inspiration then may I suggest you take cruise around Pinterest (link) and see for yourself the wonders the world has to offer.

Hotels that look like they’ve been designed by Ridley Scott, homes that make Buckingham Palace look like an outhouse, interiors that activate drool glands you didn’t know you had and every divine travel location on the planet ready for your delectation. Not to mention the art works, jewellery, clothes and just wonders so sublime you didn’t know you would actually happily donate a kidney for until you had seen them.


Okay that’s a good starting point for those suffering with BGC (Big Goal Constipation) and can certainly, er, loosen up the braincells and get the inspiration flowing.  But for those of us who have lived for some time with a burning desire to reach for the stars no matter what it takes come and sit next to me.


Lonely isn’t it?  “Hard” doesn’t cover it.  Feeling the desperation too? Struggling with doubt and think you’ll never get there?  Wondering whether it might be better giving up and (the horror) being reasonable and learning to “settle”? Two words which might just pinprick your dream bubble for good – “why bother?” haunting you like Marley’s ghost?


Join the club. Having big dreams is a kind of psychic curse. You cannot rest until they’re fulfilled but there are no guarantees  Doubt and despair are your unhappy bedfellows and procrastination and fear the brakes that keep you mired in misery.


But it’s okay. It’s what gives you that wild look in your eye and I love that crazy look because it says you believe in your dream, you know it’s non-negotiable and that you will do whatever it takes. Passion, magical thinking and a burning desire to transcend the norm keeps you going and even though it’s tough, you are the ones who should be applauded and supported.

So here are a few words to comfort to salve the soul of the Big Dreamer and sustain you on that road less travelled.  See you at the end of rainbow.


    •    Faith in the unknown takes courage. Honour your bravery by acknowledging your fear. Tell it “I know it’s daunting but I’m excited too. I will get there”
    •    Create a Vision Board of your Big Dream so you can see every day why you are taking these baby steps
    •    Do something each day to move you one step closer
    •    Remember whatever happens something good will be gained on the journey to your goal
    •    Surround yourself with cheerleaders not nay sayers and do-downers.
    •    Remember to build in fun
    •    Enjoy the journey – it’s all part of the ride
    •    Decide not to struggle – expect it to be effortless
    •    Remember fortune favours the brave
    •    Take breaks, reconsider then have a run at it again
    •    Doubt acts like Domestos on dreams.  Keep positive in the face of all odds.
    •    Act “as if” you already had your goal
    •    You words like “when I have…” not “if I have..”
    •    Outsource, ask for help, get a coach
  
One of the best ways of reaching your goals is to hire the help of a life coach. Claim your free trail session by emailing me This email address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it. and take that next step today

 

Resilience – superglue of the soul

 

You know you’re having one of those months when the crow’s feet have turned into vulture’s claws, the weirdo on the bus moves away from you when you sit down and the Big Issue salesmen toss a pound in your direction when they see you coming.

Oh don’t. Me too. A month that would make Stephen King wince and worst of all almost all of it entirely of my own making. Ouch. But you get times like that don’t you? Mervyn King on Desert Island Discs recently commented that no one could predict the worldwide downturn in the global economy. What no one?


Not a single economist, banker, financial forecaster from JP Morgan to Goldmann Sachs couldn’t see coffers were about to make a seismic downslide and cause a worldwide recession? Makes you think, doesn’t it, just how little we can predict or control the future? How little we know what’s round the corner be it good or oh, don’t go there.

There are no guarantees except perpetual change.

We’re all having to dig deep these days. But not just profoundly into our pockets but into our psyches too to help mend and make do in uncertain times.  Redundancy, relationship crises, health issues and financial worries are becoming an increasing life burden.

When the future is foggy we struggle to find a rock to cling to. We want black and white answers when 50 shades of grey offers an unexciting and altogether unsexy prospect.  So the buzzword to hold on to is resilience. Simply put, it’s the ability to draw into ourselves to find the reserve we need to help us through tough times.

Easy to say but not so straight forward to apply when you feel like jelly and you find yourself on shaky ground. Where’s the core foundation to draw upon? 

You have to have faith in your own instincts and abilities which will help guide you along the way and the goal in mind that things will get better as you take the baby steps each day towards it. Coaching is great for this.

Digging deep into hitherto unknown reserves of self is what Japanese author Haruki Murakami writes about in his book on spirituality, philosophy and marathons What I Talk About When I Talk About Running

 

 

Here he explains how he trained himself to be a marathon runner after smoking over 40 cigarettes a day and how he became an award winning writer after a random thought occurred to him while drinking beer at a baseball game.

He honestly reveals what he has to do to achieve these things, as he says, without any great innate gift and what he draws upon to do that. Ordinarily we don’t have to dig that deep for our everyday lives but it is worth creating systems which you can turn to when you feel the ground shaking and your nerve heading for the exit.

Here are a few coaching tips to help consolidate resilience:
• Maintain good relationships with your family and friends, and accept their help in times of stress. Also, getting involved in community groups for spiritual support too.
• Try to look at the big picture of life, and avoid viewing difficult times as insurmountable. Take small steps toward your goals and take one day at a time.
• Accept that change is a part of life and acceptance of what is - is key.
• Keep working toward your goals every day, and ask yourself "What can I do today to move in the direction I need to go?
• Maintain a positive view of life and visualize what you want.
• Remember how you survived a tragedy or crisis in the past. Many people report having more confidence in themselves after a crisis and some even have a deeper appreciation for life. You did it then you can again.
• Take care of yourself. Eat well, sleep and exercise to keep yourself healthy. This is especially important during times of stress.
And decide – you will prevail. Even this will pass.

Another sure fire way of developing some psychic superglue is to hire a coach. Book your 30 minute free trial telephone session today by emailing me on This email address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it.


 

Have a love affair with life

You know how it is – you’ve tried just about everything but nothing’s working. A course of vitamins, the latest self-help book and even a little judicious retail therapy but you are still feeling as flat as a super model’s tum.

Sometimes a fragrant oily bath or a bit of chocolate mouth-entertainment just doesn’t cut through the feeling that someone out there is living the life you ordered. We can look to others for some emotional rescue but find the Closed sign up as they can neither see or hear us.

Other times a holiday, or something lush to look forward to on the horizon, is enough to drag us through the grey days and the gloom. Still… it all kind of feels like your killing time, sleepwalking or enduring life rather than enjoying it.

I used to work as a feature writer in a newspaper office and the coffee machine used to digitally count down the seconds until a grey cup of mud was dispensed. I remember then thinking it was like some portentous millennium-style clock ticking off moments of my life I wasn’t enjoying and reminding me to shape up and ship out.

These are precious days we will never have again so why are we just crossing them off as though they were something to suffer and then discard until what we perceive as the main event comes into view? So if life is currently showing up in black and white and you want to switch it back to full Technicolour with wraparound sound you may need to start having a love affair with life.

I know this is easier said than done when you feel like a big grey damp duvet is wrapped around you one doesn’t feel flirty or even vaguely interested in Life even when it is wearing tight jeans, crooking it’s finger at you and giving you the cutest “come on” smile. But one has to coax out that vital feeling by finding things that nourish and restore from the inside out, like a sort of spiritual Ready Brek that will light you up and keep the home fires burning even when you feel like your pilot light’s gone out.

Here are some suggestions I guarantee (oh and I do like a guarantee in life – there are so few) will start to get you plugged in once again to the mellifluous heart beat and rhythm of life and put a Gene Kelly glide in your stride.

• Start smiling at people or striking up conversations with folk you see regularly at the station, in the corner shop or grocers, the rubbish collectors, security guys, neighbours, check -out staff, road sweepers – feel the connectedness in your daily community. It feels good to belong and it’s such a buzz walking down the street and waving, smiling and greeting folks you know.

• Exercise often. My daily tonic is a run around the park with the sun bouncing off the frosted grass, the fog in my hair and the gnats in my teeth. Nature provides its own natural Prozac and feel-good vibes. Birdsong, noticing the subtlety and magic of our seasons and the great sense that you are but a small speck in a vast universe tends to keep things in perspective.

• Wear your best stuff. Get your killer heels, finest lingerie or pulling pants, sharp suit, jewels, perfume and body products out of tissue paper and storage and wear it right now. This time, right here right now, is one to celebrate.

• Be generous and practice random acts of kindness. Buy the guy behind you a coffee or a colleague their favourite snack bar. Send thank you notes and compliment your friends and make them feel good. It comes straight back at you like a big karmic boomerang.

• Do less. We are all doing far too much and we are not building in enough down-time treats to restore ourselves. Create daily habits which nurture and lift the heart from speaking to old friends, reading a good book, playing music or eating good organic food. Make time to honour yourself.

• Don’t worry about getting out of the comfort zone – be terrified you’ll never get out of it. Regularly scare yourself silly by trying new skills, speaking up, meeting new people or committing to something that will stretch you. Give your soul a shake up.

• Act “as if” you already had everything you are aiming for. Manifest it right now by being the person with the big promotion, 6 figure income, sashaying like a love bomb and broadcasting the success you have always craved. Just watch how people start to respond.

• Make a list of 100 things you are good at/ like about yourself or others like about you. Read it regularly, believe it then own it.

• Remember that your life and all that is in it could well be on somebody else’s wish list.

• Give yourself a hug. Show yourself unending, unconditional compassion, be gentle and embrace your own humanity.

• Don’t walk strut. Chin up, swing your hips, loosen the shoulders and smile (think John Travolta in opening scene of Saturday Night Fever)

• Look in the mirror and say “who loves ya, baby?” and know the answer

For more information on Carole Ann visit www.realcoachingco.com

 

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